Like Kissing Your Best Friend
by VeronicaSummers
Summary: Jane shifted nervously. Maura's arm was brushing up against hers. So many nights ended up this way: Jane in Maura's bed, after consuming just enough alcohol to diffuse the day's wearies; Jane enjoying her best friend's company while feeling completely uncomfortable with the proximity of their bodies in the doctor's bed. - Rated M for later chapters
1. Like Kissing Your Best Friend

A/N: This is my first foray into the Rizzoli and Isles fanfiction community. Happy to be here. I hope to write more of this story if you all like it so please, please, please review. I'm always up for suggestions and construction criticism as well. Get at me.

I do not own these characters. No disrespect to TNT, Janet Tamaro, or Tess Gerritsen. They own these characters, I'm just here to have some fun with them.

**Chapter One: **_**Like Kissing Your Best Friend**_

Jane shifted nervously. Maura's arm was brushing up against hers.

So many nights ended up this way: Jane in Maura's bed, after consuming just enough alcohol to diffuse the day's wearies; Jane enjoying her best friend's company while feeling completely uncomfortable with the proximity of their bodies in the doctor's bed.

Jane gulped down the saliva her mouth insisted on producing as she listened to Maura ramble on about the importance of… enzymes? Or betadine? Or strychnine? Jane wasn't sure. Her head felt fuzzy, though she hadn't drank _that_ much. Had she?

Maura shifted, rolling to her side to look at Jane directly. "…isn't that astounding?" Jane heard the words and realized that Maura had finally stopped talking.

"Yeah, uh… sure, Maur. Astounding." Silence hung thickly in the air. Jane stared at the ceiling. Maura stared at Jane. Neither said a word.

"Um," began the detective, "can I ask you something?"

"Of course,_ anything_," came the reply.

Jane paused, wondering how to word this without hurting her friend's feelings. "You don't…think this is weird?"

"What's weird? Certainly not the way in which living cells produce complex proteins in order to catalyze specific biochemical reactions? That's really quite natural, Jane."

"No, no. Not the enzadine thing. This." The detective gestured largely to their surroundings.

"My bedroom? Do you not like the way I decorated it? I find the color to be quite soothing…"

"No, Maura! This! Us! In your bed. Together. You talking about zymanine or whatever. This doesn't make you feel… awkward?"

Noting Jane's exasperation, the blonde propped her head up with her forearm. "Awkward? What's to feel awkward about?"

"Come on, Maura. How many women our age do you know that spend time in their best friend's beds?" Jane noticed that the doctor seemed to be taking the question rather seriously, perhaps actually trying to count women she knew that acted in such a manner. "Not a real question, Doctor Dweeb."

"Well, I don't know! It doesn't seem weird to me. You're my best friend and…" Maura swallowed. Unsure of precisely what her next words meant, she spoke tentatively: "I like you."

"Well, that's just great, Maur. You _'like'_ me?" Jane's voice was filled with frustration.

"Certainly I like you!" Now Maura began to feel awkward. She was unable to articulate an explanation for Jane. This was perhaps a first for well-spoken doctor.

Jane suddenly sat up. Legs bent, she rested her elbows on her knees. One hand gripped the other. Maura noticed the tension in Jane's muscles and suddenly began to worry. Had she said something wrong? The blonde had never before realized that these late night chats in bed have made her friend feel uncomfortable. For her, it simply felt, well, as natural as living cells producing enzymes. She had not given much thought as to _why_ she enjoyed spending time in bed with Jane. Or cuddled up on the couch with Jane… Something in Maura's mind suddenly clicked. _Perhaps Jane feels discomfort at participating in such homosocial behaviors._ The doctor placed a comforting hand on Jane's back. It took Maura less than a second to realize that was the wrong action in this moment. Jane shot up and fled out of the bedroom.

"Jane!" Maura walked out of her bedroom toward the kitchen where she was surprised to find Jane putting her jacket on. The tile felt cold on Maura's feet. She crossed her arms across her chest as she spoke. "Jane, what are you doing?"

"Leaving. What does it look like?"

"Why, though? What's the matter? I don't understand…"

The brunette took a deep breath. "It's just weird, okay? I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what? Be my friend?" Maura's voice revealed how hurt she was by Jane's words. How could this be happening?

The detective scoffed. "No, Maura. Jeeze. No. Of course I want us to be friends. It's just…" Unable to articulate just what _it_ was, her voice trailed off. She looked at her friend and saw the sadness in her beautiful eyes. She didn't mean to upset Maura.

"What's wrong, Jane? What's different?"

"It's nothing, Maura. It's just…" She stopped. No, she couldn't talk about this. "It's nothing. I can't… I'm leaving, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." Jane turned to leave. As she placed her hand on the door knob, she was surprised to feel a hand on her upper arm, holding tight to stop her.

"Jane, please. Just take off your coat. Come and sit on the couch with me, okay? Let's talk about what's bothering you. Please."

How could the brunette resist? Her friend's words were so sincere. She moved to take her jacket off and found Maura sliding it off her shoulders for her. She watched the blonde fold it neatly and drape it delicately over the back of a chair at the kitchen table. Maura then held out her arm, gesturing for Jane to take a seat. Jane walked toward the couch and took a seat, Maura trailing right behind her. They sat at opposite ends of the couch and stared at each other in silence. Finally, Maura spoke.

"So, what is it? What's bothering you?"

Jane took her time contemplating what would come of telling her best friend the truth. Maura waited patiently. As Jane gazed into her friend's eyes she saw that nothing bad could become of this. Perhaps nothing good, but she knew that, no matter what, Maura would love her just the same. Jane silently chided herself for not realizing what a good friend she had earlier.

Taking a deep breath, the brunette finally began to speak: "Well, I had this dream."

"A dream?"

"Yes, a dream… about…" Jane paused, "about sex," she blurted.

"Oh?" Maura was titillated. It wasn't like Jane to expose sexual conquests or fantasies. In fact, Jane never wanted to talk about it. Maura, on the other hand, always wanted to talk about it. She couldn't wait to hear what Jane had to say next.

"Y-you were, um, in it," Jane managed to stutter.

Maura was shocked. She had never before imagined what her friend's sexual fantasies might feature. To find out it was the blonde herself was a surprise, to say the least. Jane had never expressed having feelings of a sexual nature toward any women. In fact, she had expressed just the opposite on more than one occasion. While Jane and Maura were very close, the doctor never thought of their intimacy as sexual in nature.

"Well, Jane, it's not a big deal! While many studies link subconscious thought to dreams, not much has been suggested to scientifically prove that to be true." Maura did the best to comfort her friend. She was not lying, for if she did hives would certainly have sprung, but she sort of, well, spun the truth. It was incredibly likely that this dream came from some subconscious desire that Jane was experiencing, but again, no one could prove that. "People dream all sorts of crazy things. It doesn't necessarily mean anything…"

The brunette gave a sigh of relief. Maura watched as tension fled from her friend's body. "Oh, God… I'm glad to hear that. I've been freaking out about it all day. Thank you. Thank you, thank you!" Jane leaned across the couch to hug her best friend and lingered there for an uncomfortable moment before returning to her side of the couch. However literal the doctor may have been in her understanding of people's speech patterns, body language was something she knew and what happened in that hug was undeniable.

"Jane, you're still not okay with this, are you? You still feel, well, awkward as you said, around me, touching me…"

The detective had shifted on the couch, having placed her elbows on her knees; she was staring at the floor. She focused on a particular spot, as if it would reveal the answer to her problem if she only looked hard enough. Maura considered for a moment what she was about to do. Maybe she shouldn't… maybe it'd be too much for Jane…

Wiping away any feelings of doubt she had, Maura inched forward on the couch and placed one hand on Jane's upper back. When the brunette didn't respond, Maura reached for Jane's face with her other hand and turned her. Jane looked directly into Maura's eyes as her friend traced her cheek bone with the pad of her thumb. The blonde began to lean forward, but then stopped; looking into Jane's eyes to make sure that she was okay. The brown eyes were almost sad, but knowing. They were peaceful and aware. With that, Maura closed the space between them, capturing her friend's lips in hers. Neither woman moved. They simply sat there, lips pressed against one another, for what felt like an eternity. Maura pulled away and returned to her place on the couch. While Jane's eyes had fluttered open, she still had not moved. The two were silent for a moment.

Maura straightened her blouse as she spoke, "Immersion therapy is a well documented scientific technique. That is, sometimes, in order to move on from a fear or subconscious desire, you need to experience it. I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable, Jane, but I was only trying to—"

The blonde was cut off by her friend's sudden lunge toward her. Jane pressed her body against Maura's, sliding her downward on the couch so that Jane was practically on top of her. Wrapping one arm around the doctor's waist and tangling the other in her hair, Jane kissed her friend. She moved her lips slowly against her friend's, waiting for a response. Maura began to reciprocate, bringing her arms to rest around Jane's neck. The two lay there, kissing as if they had been together for years, as if this were a common occurrence between the two. _This_, Maura thought, _is what kissing your best friend feels like. Like truth. Like serenity. Like love._

_A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are shiny! _


	2. There's Got to Be a Morning After

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your support! This has been an overwhelming experience for me. I'm so glad you are enjoying it! I will do my best to keep it updated.

You are all probably smart enough to figure this out… but the italics are flashbacks to the previous night.

I do not own these characters. No disrespect to TNT, Janet Tamaro, or Tess Gerritsen. They own these characters; I'm just here to have some fun with them. No infringement intended; no profit will be made.

**Chapter Two: **_**There's Got to Be a Morning After…**_

Jane idly tapped a pencil against her desk as she stared blankly at her computer screen. Work was slow and her thoughts were eating her alive. While the detective would never wish someone to be murdered, she really needed something to throw herself into or she was going to drive herself crazy.

"Jane, you alright?" The familiar voice of her partner, Barry Frost, snapped her back to reality.

"Yeah, of course, Frost. Why?" Jane attempted to play it smoothly, determined not to let him know that anything was bothering her.

"Well, for one thing, you've been smacking that pencil against the desk for 13 straight minutes. For another, you look like hell."

The brunette glared at her partner who, in turn, raised both his hands as a sign of surrender. Just as she was about to yell a few choice words, she heard the recognizable clack of high heels on linoleum. Jane jumped out of her seat, giving Frost a knowing look and a shake of her head before bolting for the restroom.

Maura entered the room with elegance, as always, and gave Frost a smile before frowning at the sight of Jane's empty chair. Locking eyes with the detective, without saying a word, the doctor simply pointed to the vacant seat.

"Oh no," Frost countered. "I am _not _getting in the middle of whatever this is." He pushed himself out of the chair and headed for the café, leaving Maura standing alone in the bull pen. The blonde waited a few moments, hoping her friend would be back shortly. When Jane did not return, Maura gave a long sigh and began the walk back to her office.

Once the coast was clear, Jane resumed the seat at her desk. She thrust her face into her hands and kicked her shoes against the floor in frustration. She was certain she looked like a three year old throwing a tantrum.

"_Now_ is there something you want to tell me?" Frost asked, placing a cup of coffee on Jane's desk.

The brunette looked up at him. "No, no. Absolutely not."

Frost simply shook his head before returning to his desk. His partner was rarely open with him about her feelings. He hated that they couldn't have open discussions about her life. It made him feel like she didn't trust him, but he knew better than to press her on the matter.

"But thank you… you know, for the coffee," Jane managed, tipping her cup in his direction.

"Any time."

Heels clicked on the hard floor as Maura paced impatiently across her office. Jane was avoiding her… or, at least, it seemed that way. She supposed Jane could have had somewhere else to be. Maybe she was just in the bathroom, or chatting with her mother at the café. After last night, though, Maura felt almost certain that Jane was dodging her on purpose.

_As Jane pressed hard into Maura's body, the blonde wrapped her left leg around her friend, pulling her even closer. Maura sucked on Jane's bottom lip, eliciting a small gasp from her friend's mouth. Smiling, Maura pressed her lips forcefully against Jane's. She loved the feeling of her friend's body against hers, her soft lips, and her sweet smell. The blonde did not really understand how they got to this moment. She had never thought about her best friend in a sexual way… at least not consciously. While she was confused by her own pleasure, she was not about to stop and think about it. She could think all she wanted later. Right now, it was just her and Jane. Nothing else mattered._

_Maura moved her leg between Jane's, using the heel of her foot to rub Jane's center while kissing the brunette's neck. Jane moaned and Maura smiled, continuing her assault on her friend's pulse point._

_And suddenly, it was over. Jane had pushed herself off the couch, dashed for her jacket and run out the front door without so much as a word. Maura laid on the couch, shocked. Her hands were still up, holding tight to the air that once held her best friend._

Now seated on the couch in her office, Maura knew not to take her friend's actions personally. It wasn't the doctor that Jane was dodging, it was her own feelings. Maura had never been intimate with a woman before, and she was certain that Jane had not either, but the blonde was, naturally, more adventurous in the sex department. It was clear that Jane held some pretty conservative values, probably a result of being raised Catholic. While Maura was surprised by her own feelings, she easily accepted them. Biochemical reactions in the brain simply don't lie. Maura was okay with that and eager to explore what else Jane could make her body do. She knew it would take her friend much longer to accept. And that's why the two needed to have a little chat. Maura promised herself that she would be patient and allow Jane to avoid her. She knew Jane well enough to know that she would come to Maura in her own time. And not a second before.

_The door slammed shut as Jane pressed her back up against it, breathing heavily. She had raced back to her apartment and was out of breath from the exertion of sprinting up the stairs in her building. She pressed a shaky hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. Images of her and Maura together on the couch flashed in front of her. Her eyes quickly opened and she turned to lock the door._

What the hell just happened? Why did I kiss Maura? Why did Maura kiss me? Sh-she… she touched me. Did I… want that? How did this happen?

_Jane moved to her couch, nervously picking at a string that had become loose on one of the cushions. _I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay, _she repeated over and over to herself like a mantra. Joe looked up at her from the floor, concern on her face, and yipped. _Then why did I kiss my best friend? Or rather, why did I… _enjoy_ kissing my best friend?

"_I better walk you, huh? That's good. That'll take my mind off things."_

_Jane grabbed the dog leash from the counter, but as she was clipping the pink leather to Joe's collar she remembered who bought the ridiculous thing and images, once again, danced in front of her. Unlocking the door and leading Joe Friday outside, Jane realized that these images were never going to go away. Maura had long ago infiltrated her life. Everything reminded her of her friend. While it was going to be a near impossible task, Jane swore that she was going to do her best to erase this night from her memory. If it never happened, she would not have to confront how she felt about what happened. Jane shivered in the cold. Joe looked up at her with sad eyes._

"_I am not gay, okay, Joe?! And that's the end of it! Come on, let's go inside."_


	3. Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

I do not own these characters. No disrespect to TNT, Janet Tamaro, or Tess Gerritsen. They own these characters; I'm just here to have some fun with them. No infringement intended; no profit will be made.

A/N: Can someone tell me how to put line breaks into one of these? I have them in the Word Document, but when I upload it they disappear… ? Sorry if the lack of them messed up the flow of the last chapter for you folks… or especially this chapter.

**Chapter Three: **_**Scenes from an Italian Restaurant**_

It had been three weeks since the _incident_. That's what Jane had been calling it. She hadn't spoken a word of it to anyone, except Joe Friday, but that didn't really count. She had artfully dodged Maura for a while. Things were settling back to normal now, though the late night chats in bed were strictly forbidden. After a few days of avoidance, Maura got the hint. She knew better than to bring up the _incident_ in conversation. Jane was giddy. Her plan had worked, well… sort of. Of course, Jane hadn't forgotten about what happened. She thought about it constantly, but at least it was away from discussion and her relationship with Maura was returning to its more usual state.

On this night, Jane and Maura both had dates. They had strategically planned these dates to fall on the same night. They were both headed to different restaurants in the North End, but promised to meet up at Mike's Pastry at 10:00pm to share a cannoli the size of a human face and, more importantly, to chat about their dates.

Jane had a date with Michael Stockton, a personal trainer she had met at the gym. She had caught his eye in the mirror, while she was curling hand weights. He approached her, complimenting her technique. The two chatted for a few minutes, over a water break. Mike asked her to dinner and the rest was history.

Sitting now at a small restaurant just off Hanover Street, she admired his form. His well-toned biceps and broad chest were a sight that would make any woman swoon. His dark hair was short, but wavy and his eyes almost seemed to glisten in the candlelight. Mike Stockton was one hell of a catch.

"So how is it that a woman like you is single?"

_Funny_, Jane thought, _I was just thinking the same thing about you._

"Well," she started, "it's the job. I spend too much time doing it. Men tend to spend too much time running from it."

"Running?"

"Oh, hell yes" Jane stated. "In my estimation, there are two types of men in the world. The ones who either fear cops or are intimidated by a woman cop, and the ones that want me to use the handcuffs," Jane joked, taking a sip of her wine.

Michael laughed, right on cue. Jane smiled. Her date's face became suddenly serious. "Well, I'm not either of those guys." He moved his hand across the table, covering Jane's hand with his own. "And I'm not running."

Maura was just a few blocks away from her best friend, sipping wine with Mitchell Reed, a forensic scientist she had met at a conference regarding a new DNA retrieval technique. Mitch had a strong jaw line and piercing green eyes. He was a thin man, but muscular. While Maura did find him endlessly attractive, she was on this date because of Jane's insistence. Determined to enjoy herself anyway, the blonde smiled widely. "So, Mitch… what do you like to do in your spare time?"

Mitch rambled on about several outdoor activities. He liked camping and canoeing. _Rustic_, thought Maura with a grin. _Sexy_. At some point, she zoned out. She focused on the body of the beautiful male specimen sitting before her. While she was still anxious to have a talk with Jane, she realized there was no reason why she couldn't have some fun while she waited for her friend to come around.

Excited about the prospects of where this date might end up, Maura looked deeply into green eyes and brushed the toe of her stiletto across Mitch's ankle. He smiled back and reached across the table to grasp her hand.

At that moment, their food arrived and Maura remembered that she had promised to meet Jane at 10 o'clock. Silently cursing herself for forgetting, Maura hit the brakes on her sex drive and harmlessly chatted as they ate.

Michael helped Jane put on her jacket. It was at this moment that she realized that she should really like this guy. He was beautiful and tender, but not a wimp. He wasn't intimidated by her profession, nor did he find it creepily fascinating. This was a man that wouldn't back down, but wasn't a jerk. This was a man that she could really like.

_So why don't I like him?_

It wasn't that Jane didn't like him. It was just that she didn't _especially _like him. She didn't feel like they had a romantic connection. In other words, she didn't _like him like him_. Perhaps this was something they could build together, though. _First dates are often awkward, right? They don't predict how a relationship might turn out._

It was easy for Jane to reassure herself. She wasn't wrong. She looked at her watch. _9:53pm._ She should go.

"I had a really nice time, Mike."

"So, does that mean I can see you again soon?"

"Yes, absolutely."

He cleared his throat. "Does that also mean that I can do this?" Mike leaned in and Jane let it happen. His lips felt rough somehow. Nothing like… Erasing the thought from her mind, she kissed him back and enjoyed the moment, pressing one hand against his firm chest.

She looked down as he pulled away from her. "I have to go meet my best friend," Jane pointed her thumb down the block.

"Dr. Maura Isles?"

Jane shot him a perplexed look. _I didn't mention her on this date, did I? God, this is so embarrassing…_

"I Googled you before the date. So sue me. I saw an article about a case you two worked on. You seem like you're really close friends."

"We are," Jane assured him, relieved she hadn't talked about Maura while out with Mike. "Anyway, I really do have to go…"

"Sure," he said, rubbing her shoulder. "I'll call you tomorrow."

Her back was pressed up against the hard stone of St. Leonard's Church. Mitch was pushing his body into hers, hands on either side of her face, devouring her. Maura tightly gripped his forearms. So, she couldn't take Mitch home with her. So what? She was determined to have a good time.

His lips collided forcefully with her own as his scent engulfed her. His cologne was heavenly. She enjoyed the feeling of his body against hers, her shoulders against the beautiful church. The moment was surreal, yet tangible. And Mitch? He was a good kisser. And he tasted even better than he smelled. Maura's body ached as she tried to pull him even closer. He shifted, lips latching on to her neck. A soft moan escaped her lips as a bell tolled in the distance. After a few seconds, she realized what the bell meant. It was 10 o'clock and she was going to be late meeting her best friend for dessert.

_Damnit._

The blonde allowed her date's tongue to roam her neck for a few moments more, savoring them for all they were worth, before pushing him away.

"I'm sorry, Mitch. I… I really can't. I have to meet my friend." He looked disappointed. "I want to, it's just… I can't. Not right now. Rain check?"

He smirked. "Definitely." He placed an arm on the stone building, lowering himself to Maura's small frame and kissing her softly one last time.

"I'll call you," Maura stated as she walked away.

"I hope so," came the response.

"Sorry! Oh my goodness, I'm sorry I'm late, Jane!"

"…It's only 10:04," the brunette stated simply, looking at her watch.

The blonde took a chance to catch her breath. "4 minutes?! Jane! I'm so sorry. You know I'm never late… I feel awful."

"Relax, Maura. It's 4 minutes. Besides, this place is always ridiculously crowded. But I promise, this'll be well worth the wait."

Jane lead the way into a very crowded Mike's Pastry. Maura stood at the back. "No. This isn't a line! Come on. We've got to push to the front." Jane grabbed her friend's hand, pulling her through the mass of bodies.

"But don't we have to wait our turn?" Maura shouted.

The detective rolled her eyes. "No, Maur. Jeeze. That's not how it works here. Don't worry about it."

They finally pressed their way to the front of the crowd and Jane ordered one cannoli. Maura stepped up to order her own, but her friend stopped her. "Don't even think about it. One is plenty for us both."

Jane grasped the blue strings of the package with one hand and threw money on the counter with the other before turning to leave. The blonde followed. Jane took a left on Hanover Street and began walking. Ahead of them was St. Leonard's Church. Maura smiled at the memory of just a few minutes ago, but said nothing.

"Sooo… how was the date?" Maura asked as she caught up with Jane.

"Good. Fine, yeah. Mike's… really nice."

"Uh oh, nice? It couldn't have been that bad…"

"No, I mean it. I had a nice time. We're going to go out again."

"There's that word again," came her friend's knowing response.

"What?"

"_Nice_. Come on, Jane. Even I know _nice_ means dull."

Jane shook her head, "No, really. He was… really nice. And I had a _nice_ time."

"Sooo… then…?"

She paused, trying to choose her words delicately. "I liked him, I just… I don't know if we're really, you know, meant to be… or whatever."

"'Meant to be,'" the doctor laughed. "What does that mean?"

"You know, like… compatible… or something."

"Oh, you didn't feel attracted to him?! Well, that certainly is disappointing…"

"It's not that," Jane countered. "I mean, he was really cute. I was definitely feeling his looks, but I just wasn't really feeling… _it_."

Maura blinked, looking at Jane with a blank stare. "I don't understand."

Silence hovered around them. Jane felt her friend looking at her, wanting to understand. Jane couldn't explain it. Yes, Mike was attractive. Yes, she was attracted _to him_. Yes, he was sane and kind and smart and even funny… But, no, she didn't _really_ want to see him again. It was one of those unexplainable things, but if she told Maura, she knew she would insist that everything had an explanation. Instead, the detective remained silent. As they were passing Paul Revere Mall, Jane turned into the small park. Maura followed. They took a seat on a bench near the central fountain, and Jane began unwrapping the parcel in her hand. She picked up the pastry inside and held it to her friend's lips.

"Here, you have the first taste. I promise, it's to die for."

"A cannoli is hardly a thing worth dying for," Maura responded, taking a bite into the treat.

She chewed for a moment, before exclaiming, "Okay, fine. That may be a thing worth dying for."

The two laughed. "Told you," Jane muttered before taking a bite herself.

Her mouth still filled with the delicious pastry, Jane spoke slowly, "So, how was _your_ date?"

"Oh, excellent! If it weren't for our plans, he'd surely be in my bed at this very moment."

Jane began to cough, spitting out some of her food. "Excuse me?"

"He was beautiful and sexy and oh, one hell of a kisser. I hope to see him again soon…"

"Why do you always have to say things like that? God, Maura. "

The blonde just smiled innocently. Jane felt anger bubble in her chest. It was an odd. She was irritated with Maura's candor, as usual, but she wasn't quite expecting to feel this mad. She felt like hitting someone. Hard. She watched as Maura took another bite of the cannoli.

"What do you mean he's a good kisser? Somewhere between dinner and dessert you went for a quickie in the bathroom?"

Maura laughed. "Certainly not." Jane gave her a look. "No, really, I would never do that. It'd throw off the balance of the meal." She paused. "Afterward. That's why I was late. We were making out up against St. Leonard's."

"A _church_? Maura, _a church_?!"

"What!? It was just the outside… You know I'm an atheist, Jane. I'd never disrespect an entire faith by acting inappropriately inside the walls, but outside them? That's hardly a sin."

"It _is_ a sin, Maura! I can't believe you."

Maura paused and looked at her friend seriously. "Why are you being so short with me? I know you don't always approve of my behavior, but I've never seen you this bothered by it."

Jane was silent. She looked down at the bricks below her feet. "I don't know," she managed.

"Jane." Maura lifted her friend's chin, forcing her to look into her eyes. "This is about that thing that happened, isn't it?"

Never had the doctor been so imprecise, so flippant. And yet, Jane knew exactly what she meant. Of course she did. She looked down. She said nothing.

Maura placed a gentle hand on her friend's shoulder. "It's really not an issue, Jane. We can forget all about it if you want. But can we just talk about it? Please?"

"That's the problem." Jane's voice was quiet, meek even. The noise sounded strange even to her.

"What?"

"That's the problem," Jane spoke louder, more confidently. "I can't forget it. I can't. I've tried. It just plays over and over again in my head like a skipping CD."

Maura rubbed Jane's shoulder, coaxing her to continue talking, but she didn't. She wouldn't.

Finally, Maura spoke instead. "Well, if it helps, I'm not having the easiest time forgetting it either, though I am not really sure I have 'tried.'"

Jane's head snapped, eyes glaring. "Oh, yeah right, Maura! Like you weren't ready to move on ten minutes ago when Mitch had you pressed up against that church!" Rage tainted Jane's words. There was something gleaning in her eyes. Something terrifying.

"I'm not going to stop living my life while you try to figure out yours, Jane." Maura's voice was firm, perhaps even a bit harsh, but not cruel.

"I'm not gay," Jane spat.

She didn't mean to, but she really couldn't help it. Maura began to laugh. Jane stood up, but the blonde grabbed her wrist, holding her still. "I'm sorry. I know, it's not funny. But honestly, Jane. Is that what's bothering you about our," she spoke carefully, "encounter?"

"Well, yeah. I mean… I… My body… It… It _liked_ it."

Maura nearly began laughing again at her friend's adolescent choice of description. Would it really kill Jane to say the words: "I felt aroused while kissing you?"

"That doesn't make you a lesbian, my friend. It doesn't even make you bisexual, or pansexual, or even mean that you are attracted to women. As always, you're jumping to conclusions without proper evidence." Again, Maura spoke carefully, determined not to scare her friend away. "All one _interaction_ with me tells us definitively is that in that specific moment, you found yourself aroused while kissing me. In fact, the two things may not even be corollary."

"So, what are you saying?"

There was a pause. "I'm saying, just because you may, or may not, be attracted to me doesn't mean that you're a lesbian."

Jane felt a terrible weight lift off her shoulders. She could breathe again and she did so, heartily, as she resumed her seat next to the smaller woman. Her relief suddenly made her brave. Or stupid, she really wasn't sure which.

"Oh, I'm definitely attracted to you," Jane said, nodding her head.

Maura's heart skipped a beat. "Really?"

"Come on, Maura. Look at you. I've known that much since day one."

"Day one? Why didn't you say anything?"

Jane stopped, thinking about it. "I guess I just wasn't sure what it meant. I mean, I've never been attracted to another woman before and I haven't been attracted to another since."

"So…" the blonde began. "Now you know what it means?"

"No," Jane stated. "But now I think that's okay…"

_A/N: Yes, Mike's Pastry is a real place where you really can consume perhaps one of the LARGEST cannolis I have ever seen… if you're willing to literally battle the crowd. Mike's Pastry produces, perhaps, the best cannoli I have ever tasted. I recommend them to everyone! Totally worth the brawl._


	4. Rumors

I do not own these characters. No disrespect to TNT, Janet Tamaro, or Tess Gerritsen. They own these characters; I'm just here to have some fun with them. No infringement intended; no profit will be made.

**Chapter Four: Rumors**

A man had murdered his wife, two young children, and finally turned his weapon on himself. This was an atrocity that no one should ever see and yet it was in every newspaper, on every news program, and on every social media site. It was inescapable. The case fell on Jane Rizzoli's desk on a Monday morning. Luckily, it was pretty open and shut. Forensic findings supported the original assumption that this had been a triple murder-suicide. By Friday of the following week, Jane and her partner, Detective Barry Frost, had closed the case.

But those two weeks were two of the worst weeks of the detectives' careers. This was a case they would both spend the rest of their lives trying to forget. Neither of them would ever succeed.

Frost had suggested a much needed night at The Dirty Robber and Jane jumped at the offer. "After this, I really could use a drink. Or ten," she joked.

At 7 o'clock, on the dot, Barry Frost walked into the office of Dr. Maura Isles. He gave a quick knock on the door frame before leaning against it. The doctor's head snapped up from the work on her desk.

"Jane and I are headed to The Dirty Robber. You coming? Your first drink's on me."

The blonde twitched her pen against the desk. "I've got some paperwork I have to finish up. Rain check?"

"Uh-uh, no. You _are _coming. Do what you gotta do, meet us there after," commanded Frost.

Before she had a chance to protest, the man disappeared from her door frame. She sighed and returned to her work.

Jane and her partner were at a booth in the back corner of their usual haunt. The waitress brought over two beers. "Your burgers will be right out," she stated, placing the glasses in front of them. Frost thanked the blonde woman and watched as she walked away. Jane looked at him looking at her. Knowing he had been caught, Barry Frost stared directly into Jane's eyes. "Oh, come on, Rizzoli. That right there is one_ fine_ woman. Don't act like you weren't watching her, too," he stated before taking a long sip of his beer.

Jane rolled her eyes. "You know those rumors aren't true," she said, rather forcefully.

"What rumors?" Frost asked, an innocent grin plastering his face. Jane couldn't help but laugh and her partner joined her. She took a large gulp of her beer and released a well-deserved sigh. It felt good to be laughing, to be drinking, and to be in the company of a good friend after the past couple weeks.

"You know," Frost started, "I just heard a new one the other day."

Jane shot him an interested look, taking another large sip of her beer.

"It was about you and the doc," he stated calmly.

Jane nearly spit her beer into the man's face, but managed to swallow it, coughing a bit. "Yeah?" she said, coolly.

"I mean, I'd heard ones about you two before, but this one? I don't know, it…" At a loss for words, he simply stopped speaking. Jane didn't ask him to continue. Instead, she quickly chugged the rest of her drink. The waitress returned, placing their burgers on the table.

"Another beer?" the waitress asked.

"Please. And a shot of whiskey, too?"

She nodded. "Anything else I can get for you?"

Watching Jane carefully, Frost told they waitress that they were all set. She turned and left the table, and Frost saw Jane's eyes follow her for a moment.

"Nah," Jane said with a snort. "Just doesn't do it for me."

Frost smirked. "Going hard tonight, eh, Rizzoli?"

"Come on, man. It's been a long couple weeks. Don't judge me, _join_ me." She took a large bite of her burger, chewing sloppily. "Man, this is delicious," she muttered, mouth full.

"You alright, Jane?" It was not unlike Jane to have a few drinks and devour food like a dog that hadn't eaten for days. But because of the last two weeks, he figured it would be wise to check in.

The brunette thrust a thumbs-up in his general direction, but continued chewing. The waitress returned, settling her two drinks on the table. "Never better," she garbled and washed down her food with three large gulps of beer.

Frost called after the waitress, "Miss? A shot of whiskey for me too, please."

Jane flashed him a look of approval as he bit into his own burger.

"Well, you know what they say: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

When the waitress returned, the detectives toasted to life itself, the fact that they had it, while others so tragically no longer did. They took a second shot, honoring the victims of the case they had just closed, and said nothing more on the matter. They finished their meals in near silence. It may not have been intentionally reverential, but Jane took the time to reflect for a moment on the past month. She thought about the rumor Frost had mentioned earlier, wondered where it had come from… what about it may have been different.

She finished her beer and gestured to the waitress for another. Her head was beginning to feel fuzzy. Blocking out the noise around her, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling for a moment. Her body relaxed, releasing tension built up over the past two weeks. The room spun slightly and she felt completely weightless. Opening her eyes again, she looked across the table at her partner, who was eating the last of his French fries.

"This is wonderful. I'm sooo glad we did this."

"Me too, Jane"

She sipped on a newly arrived beer, taking the time to enjoy the taste of it. Leaning an elbow on the table, Jane let her palm support the growing weight of her head.

"You're a good person," she slurred," and I like you. A whole lot."

He couldn't help but chuckle, noticing his friend's slightly impaired speech. "Thanks, Rizzoli. I like you, too."

The brunette took a long sip of her beer and began speaking before the glass had entirely left her mouth, causing some beer to drip on the table. "I gotta tell you somethin'."

"Okay?"

"I am a liar!" she declared loudly, gulping down the rest of her beer.

"What?" The word was filled with concern. His partner had clearly drunk a little too much, a little too quickly. She was fine, of course, but drunken proclamations about one's honesty were worth at least a moment's concern from a friend.

"Yup." Her lips popped on the 'p' and her body swayed slightly. She pointed an accusatory finger across the table. Looking very seriously into Frost's dark eyes, she spoke clearly, "I lied about the rumors." She paused for a moment, "Well, at least about one rumor."

"What are you talking about? What rumor?"

"The one about me and Maura." She stopped, searching his face for recognition, for shock, for horror, for anything. Seeing nothing but a blank stare, she clarified herself, "The doc, as you said."

Frost froze, recognizing the meaning in Jane's words. Surprised by her admission, though not altogether shocked by the information itself, he managed only to nod.

Staring down at the scars on her hands, Jane continued, "Her-We… I mean, I…" Her voice trailed off. She wasn't quite sure what to say. "It's not like we slept together or anything…"

Frost took one of her hands in his. She looked up at him and saw compassion in his eyes. She trusted this man with her life every day, and yet she hadn't trusted him with the details of that life at all. Recognizing for the first time how much this may have hurt her partner, _her friend_, in the past, she made the decision to be completely honest in this moment.

"I think I might be in love with my best friend." She whispered, giving a sad laugh.

The two were silent for a moment. Frost rubbed his thumb against the back of his partner's hand. "I'm glad you told me, Jane." He smiled. "You don't have to, but I'm always here if you want to talk about it."

"I really don't. Thanks, though."

"Well, then, do you want another beer?"

"I _really_ do."

Smiling, Frost headed for the bar to grab each of them another round. At that precise moment, Maura Isles walked in and spotted the detective. Approaching him, she gave him a poke, "I'm here!" He flinched in surprise and then shifted awkwardly. The doctor, of course, didn't notice.

"Heeeeey," he said, dragging out the greeting. "Good to see you. We've got a booth in the back. Glass of wine for you?"

"Chardonnay, please." Maura began to walk away, but stopped when she felt a gentle hand grab her arm. Looking back at Frost she saw that he had something to say… and yet, he wasn't saying anything.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, um… no, it's nothing. Jane's just, uh… in a bit of a state. You know, a little drunk. And she told me some things…"

"Things?"

"Yeah, she told me, um," he paused," you know… what happened between the two of you."

The doctor was taken aback. "Oh," she managed. "Well…"

"I mean, she didn't tell me _what _happened. But I understand that _something_ happened. And Jane, she," he stopped, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. "Well, she has some, uh, _feelings_ about it."

Maura stared at the hand still grasping her upper arm. Frost released her.

"Don't tell Jane I said anything. It's not a big deal, I just… thought you should know what you may be walking into back there."

She smiled at him. "Yes, I understand. Thank you, Barry." She began to walk away.

"Oh, and Doc?" He called after her. "I think she may need a ride home tonight…"

"Understood. Thank you."

As she neared the booth, she saw Jane fiddling with the fries left on her plate. "You're supposed to eat your food, not play with it," she said, sitting down next to Jane in the booth.

Surprised to see her friend, Jane shifted in the booth to give her more room. "Oh! I didn't know you were coming."

"Barry invited me."

"Why do you always call him that?"

"It is his name, isn't it?" The question was sincere. Jane laughed, a little too loudly.

"Yeah, I mean, yeah it's his name. But nobody calls him that. It's a stupid name." The blonde noticed a slight slur in Jane's words. _A little drunk indeed_.

"Well, I do. I think it's a perfectly lovely name." The brunette snorted as her partner returned to the booth, barely managing to carry the three drinks. He placed them on the table and resumed his seat.

"Thank you, _Barry_," Jane said, taking a gulp of the beer.

The three drank and chatted for almost an hour. Doing their best to keep their minds off the case they had just closed, they laughed and joked and drank some more. Knowing she would be driving Jane home, Maura stopped after two glasses of wine. She watched as her friends' words started to slur a little more, as their bodies became looser and gestures more erratic, as their voices grew louder. She watched Jane speak freely and laugh heartily. Maura wasn't sure the last time she saw the brunette so relaxed. She was absolutely stunning.

Slapping the table and moving to stand, Frost spoke, "It's been wonderful, ladies. But I think it's time for some shut-eye. I'm going to go call a cab."

"I should do the same," Jane said.

"No," the blonde cut in, "Please, let me drive you home."

Jane's dark eyes looked deeply into Maura's. The doctor shifted uncomfortably for a moment, looking away. Bringing her eyes up again, she stared right back at her friend, whose eyebrows crinkled and head twitched.

"Yeah, Rizzoli. Go with the doc. She'll take _good_ care of you. Isn't that right, Doc?" He shot Maura a look and she shooed him away with a gesture of her hand. "See you both Monday morning," he said before trotting off.

Maura took Jane's hand and pulled her out of the booth. "Come on," she said as she dragged Jane out of The Dirty Robber. When they arrived at her car, she finally let go of her friend's hand. The two drove in silence, but Maura could feel Jane's eyes on her. "What?" she finally asked.

"You're so damn beautiful."

The blonde felt a blush rise in her cheeks.

"How do you do it? You make looking flawless seem so easy…"

Maura couldn't speak. It was odd, really. The woman with the answer for everything suddenly did not know what to say. This may have been a first for her.

"Sorry. I'm a bit drunk," Jane muttered.

"No, please. No. Don't be sorry. Thank you." Maura placed a hand on Jane's thigh. Jane stared at it for a moment before moving her own hand to cover it. She lay back against the seat and closed her eyes, enjoying the heat radiating from their hands. She felt the car come to a stop as Maura parked in front of Jane's apartment building. When she finally opened her eyes, she found her friend leaning toward her. The blonde's hand moved to cup her friend's cheek.

"Is this… okay?"

Jane nodded slightly as the doctor pressed her lips against the brunette's. She moved her lips against Maura's and felt heat rising inside her. She pulled away. "Sorry, Maur, I-I—"

"Don't. Don't you dare. Please." Jane was silent. Maura watched her carefully for a long moment. She crawled over to Jane's seat, straddling her.

"Don't over think this. Please, just let go."

Hands on the back of Jane's neck, she pulled her friend's mouth to hers. The irony was not lost on Dr. Maura Isles. The walking Google had stopped thinking and started feeling. Her gut-driven counterpart, however, couldn't stop herself from getting lost in her own thoughts. Smiling to herself, she kissed Jane passionately. She began to protest when she felt Jane pull away from her again, but stifled herself when her friend's lips connected with her neck. Letting out a soft moan of approval, Maura reached down to pull on the electronic lever that controlled the seat back. As Jane lowered, Maura found herself lying on top of her. Jane's long fingers wrapped into blonde hair and tugged Maura down to kiss her again. The doctor's hand roved down to Jane's side where she felt flesh quiver beneath the cotton T-shirt. Warmth pulsed between her legs as she pressed her tongue into the detective's mouth. Jane's hips rose slightly at the contact of their tongues and she released a quiet grunt into her best friend's mouth. She scraped her fingers slowly down Maura's clothed back and yearned to feel the soft flesh beneath. When Maura pulled away to nip at the crook of her neck, Jane's thoughts suddenly caught up with her.

"Maura?"

"Mmm?"

"I want this. I really do-oo," her voice hitched as she felt her friend's tongue travel up her neck, her lips latching onto Jane's ear lobe. She forced herself to continue, "But not tonight."

Maura pulled away, surprised. In her lifetime, only on the rare occasion had a romantic pursuit rejected her. Now Jane had done it twice. Her brow furrowed.

"Please, don't be hurt, Maur. I just don't want to be drunk when this happens."

_When_. _She said when._

"So what is it you _do_ want tonight, then?" she questioned, folding her arms across her chest.

Jane thought for a moment. Staring into green eyes, she answered, "Sleep with me."

"I was trying to," Maura joked, "But some rude friend of mine, who has now rejected me _twice_, I might add, stopped me."

The brunette gave a short laugh. "No, I mean, spend the night. Here. With me, in my bed."

Maura smiled, leaning down to give her friend one last quick kiss. "It would be my pleasure." Opening the passenger door, she climbed out and extended her hand to her friend. The two walked up the stairs to Jane's apartment, hand in hand.

Never before had Maura slept better than with Jane's head pressed against her chest, their fingers entwined on her stomach, and her other arm hugged tightly around her best friend. Perhaps she had to wait a little longer for Jane to come around, but something told her it'd be well worth the wait.


	5. Hematoma

A/N: I am so, so sorry for the delay on this one, guys! Life and the Thanksgiving Holiday kind of got in the way. I hope you enjoy it!

I do not own these characters. No disrespect to TNT, Janet Tamaro, or Tess Gerritsen. They own these characters; I'm just here to have some fun with them. No infringement intended; no profit will be made.  
…..

**Chapter Five: Hematoma**

The first thing Jane saw the next morning was Maura's flawless face, her beautiful eyes watching Jane closely. Her mind slowly registered further information. _It is morning. This is my bed. Maura is staring at me. She slept here last night. Oh…I drank last night…_ Groaning at the recognition that it was morning, it was bright, and she was feeling the repercussions of last night's actions, she pulled the covers over her eyes.

Maura giggled. "That bad?"

Grunting again, Jane peeked one eye out from under the blanket. "Why are you staring at me?" she muttered.

"I had to make sure you'd still be here in the morning."

Jane scoffed. "It's my bed. Duh."

"You know what I mean, Jane," Maura rolled her eyes.

Jane sat up and grasped one of Maura's hands in hers. She looked deeply into her eyes. "Of course I'm here. I'll always be here."

A smile played on the blonde's lips and she felt her heart thud in her chest. She nuzzled her head into the crook of her friend's neck.

Wrapping an arm around Maura's back, Jane continued: "So, what do you want to do today?"

Maura felt the brunette's fingers trace lines across her back. "Mm. Never leave this bed."

Jane popped to her feet. "Challenge accepted," she proclaimed, hands on her hips. "So, what's for breakfast?"

"A French omelette, slightly warmed croissant, and grapefruit juice," Maura answered sincerely.

"Did you say eggs? Scrambled eggs and toast it is then!" Maura chuckled and began to get out of the bed. "Uh-uh-uh," Jane said, holding her arms out to stop Maura. "Today, you're not leaving this bed."

"But Jane—"

"No buts. Get back in bed." Jane tucked the blonde back in. Maura laughed a little at the gesture as Jane left the room.

Rolling onto her side, she thought of all the things she should accomplish today. _I need a shower. And the laundry has to get done. If I don't buy groceries, I'll have nothing to eat by Monday morning. The bathroom should be cleaned and the living room could desperately use a vacuum… _And yet, none of it mattered. Because the thought of spending an entire day in bed with Jane Rizzoli was the trump card to top all trump cards. All of those things could wait until tomorrow. Today, she was staying right here. A smile tugged at her lips as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Maura felt warm fingertips brush her temple. Having not realized that she had fallen asleep, it felt as though only moments had passed. She felt the delicate touch again as Jane tucked a tuft of hair behind her ear. She slowly opened her eyes and her best friend came into view, a large grin plastered on her face.

"Breakfast is ready!"

Maura moved to sit up and discovered a tray lay across her lap.

"Breakfast in bed, of course."

"Hah." Maura released the air in her lungs. "You really weren't kidding about this 'staying-in-bed' thing, were you?"

Jane shook her head and took a seat next to Maura on the bed. Reaching for the remote on the nightstand, she flicked on the TV. Flipping through channels as Maura began to eat, Jane discovered a _Law and Order: SVU _marathon. _Done_. She picked up her fork and began eating as well.

"How can you watch these shows?" the blonde asked. "They're so unrealistic."

"So unrealistically entertaining!" came the response. Maura snorted. "Look, I know it's not real. It's TV. But you know, the stuff they go through is totally real. You know, like, having to deal with scum on a regular basis isn't easy. And we know that in our lives. I like to watch other people, even if they're fake, deal with it, too. It's sort of, like, some kind of coping mechanism or something."

Maura thought about this for a moment. "It's like pressing on a contusion…" she stated.

Jane laughed. "A what now?"

Maura smiled. "When a capillary is damaged by trauma, blood seeps into the surrounding extracellular space resulting in a contusion or a hematoma. This leads to a black-and-blue discoloration on the skin called ecchymosis."

"You mean a bruise."

"Yes, that's it: a bruise. It's like pressing on a bruise."

_Why couldn't she just say that?_ Jane thought to herself. Of course she couldn't. If she did, she wouldn't be so uniquely Maura. She wouldn't be the woman that Jane had grown to care so much about.

"I.." Jane started.

"Yes?"

The brunette shook the thought out of her head. "Never mind. It's not important."

They continued to eat in silence, watching as the fake cops on TV interrogated a suspect. Jane thought about what Maura had said. About the '_contusion_.' It was exactly like that. Watching fictional characters struggle with the same issues she struggled with every day was painful, and yet therapeutic. It reminded Jane that her work was often trying, but she could deal with that pain so long as she still felt it. Perhaps the most important thing, though, was that it reminded her that she wasn't alone. Looking at Maura, she thought of the cases they had gone through… together. She certainly wasn't alone, and she never would be.

"Plus, Benson is totally the most badass, awesome cop there ever was. I just love her."

"Hm. She reminds me of you."

Jane gave her friend a look.

"She's a little brash," Maura explained, "but intelligent, strong-willed, tough yet tender. She speaks for victims." Her eyes focused. "And she's just downright sexy."

Jane couldn't help but laugh at Maura's admission. She had never heard the blonde call another woman sexy before. It was a little odd to hear those words come out of Maura's mouth. The fact that those words were indirectly describing Jane herself was even stranger. Maura constantly teased her about her fashion sense, or lack thereof. _And she yet she finds me sexy?_

Jane shrugged. "I guess so."

Once they were finished eating, Jane cleared the small table from Maura's lap. Returning to the bed, the two lay next to each other, without touching, and watched the show in silence. The episode told the story of a man who ultimately killed his wife and children, then attempted to kill himself. This attempt, as it turned out, was just a ploy to try and get away with murder. _Like pressing on a contusion indeed_, Maura thought. _This is horrifyingly similar to the case we just closed. How can Jane even sit through this?_

"I don't understand how anyone could ever hurt their own children," came Jane's quiet voice.

At first, Maura wasn't sure what to say. It was on the rare occasion that the two spoke of the monsters they met at work. She knew that Jane had a hard time talking about it and didn't want to press her, or say the wrong thing. And yet, she did want to talk about it. She wanted to know how Jane was dealing with the trauma.

"This episode shares incredible similarities with the case we just closed," Maura gulped.

"See!" she quickly retorted. "I told you! Real issues."

"I'm serious. Can't we talk about this, instead of watching fake people deal with it on TV?"

There was a long pause. Jane's spoke softly, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" Maura pressed, hoping she wasn't crossing some invisible boundary.

"I said I don't want to talk about it."

"But why don't you want to talk about it? I think you would feel a lot better if you did."

"Because!" Jane flipped onto her side, turning her back to her blonde friend. She wasn't going to talk about this. She felt Maura's hand rub gently across her back. The gesture made her feel like crying. Silence hung in the air for a long while, but finally, Jane sat up.

"Because it really rattled me, okay?! Is that what you want me to admit? That I'm weak? While you, _you_ walk around with your facts and figures like it's no big deal. I watched you perform the autopsies on those children. You didn't crack once. Miss Queen of the Dead!"

Jane's words stung like a harsh winter wind. For a moment, Maura was speechless. "So you think I'm cold, is that it? Heartless? That's really what you think?" Her words were accusatory and unforgiving. She rose from the bed.

"No, Maur—No, that's not—that's not what I meant! You just—you just—"

Maura's stern voice cut off Jane's stutter. "I appreciate life, Jane. That's what I do for a living. I dissect once-living tissue and appreciate what it was once capable of. I understand, more than you will ever know, how intricate the design of the body is, how each piece works together to sustain a living human being. And most of all, I know how badly things can go should but one small piece of the elaborate form fail to function properly. Life is precious, Jane, and I know that better than you might think I do. Those facts and figures have meaning, have a real world application in which they decide whether someone lives or someone dies. Do _not_ tell me that they are 'no big deal,' because they make all the difference in someone's life." As she spoke, Maura began to do what she did not during autopsy. She began to lose it. Tears feel freely from her eyes. While she spoke loudly, she strained to pronounce the words. When she had finished, she sat down at the foot of the bed, her back toward the detective, crying softly.

At first, Jane said nothing. She did not move, nor even blink. She simply sat, stunned by Maura's outburst, unsure of what to say. Shifting, Jane wrapped her arms around her friend from behind, resting her head on Maura's left shoulder and pulling her close. "I'm sorry, Maur. Really. Please, don't cry."

The blonde sniffled, wiping at a tear with her hand. "Lay with me," Jane whispered in her ear. Her voice was deep. "Please."

After a moment, Maura moved. As she lay down on the bed, Jane adjusted, wrapping herself around Maura's body. It was wonderful to be lying in Jane's arms. She felt warm; she felt safe. The two continued to watch the television show in silence.

Jane thought again of Maura's analogy. _Like pressing on a bruise_. As she held her best friend tightly in her arms, the phrase seemed to take on another meaning. It was painful to be with Maura, without being with Maura. And in that moment, Jane promised herself that there would come a day in which she would never again be with Maura, without being with Maura.

…..

A/N: This chapter was partly inspired by a brilliant and funny article on why women love to watch SVU. Check it out here, should you so choose: /5946269/what-is-it-with-women-and-law-order-svu


	6. It Doesn't Matter

_A/N: I am so sorry for the delay on this everyone. I've been both very busy and two suffering from a rather serious case of writer's block! I know exactly what I want this story to do, where it'll go… but I seem to be having the trouble getting the words out._

_Anyway, sorry for the two-month hiatus. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything, blah, blah, blah_

…..

**Chapter Six: **_**It Doesn't Matter**_

The day spent in bed was a glorious one. It mostly consisted of silently watching the SVU marathon, but with bodies entwined and fingers locked together, there were few things more wonderful. And yet, Jane Rizzoli was slowly beginning to panic. Jane wasn't good at relationships. Was this even a relationship? She had no idea what was going on and furthermore, she wasn't even sure what she wanted to go on. She liked being with Maura… a lot. But this was just crazy! Jane Rizzoli was _not _interested in women. Or, at least she never was before. And who, this late in the game, suddenly switches teams? It just wasn't normal.

But then again, nothing about their friendship ever was.

She remembered Maura's words, about how her attraction, or whatever it was, to the blonde meant nothing in terms of her sexuality. But… it just_ did_! And while she did not suddenly find herself interested in any other women, her mind was constantly imagining ways in which she wanted to please her friend. And those ways were just not things that "friends" did.

Perhaps even more frightening, though, was the feeling that suddenly started to bubble within her every time she looked at Maura. It made her chest feel warm and her stomach twinge, her skin tingle and her head swim. Whatever _this_ was moved way beyond physical desire. This was something that Detective Jane Rizzoli had never experienced before. And for it to be happening in the presence of her _female_ best friend was simply unthinkable.

Around 5:00pm, Jane's internal alarm clock started to buzz. Before she had time to think about the words, her mouth began to speak.

"Can I take you to dinner?"

The silence that followed the question was disturbed only by the sound of the television. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! Ugh, why did I just say that?_

"Sure," came the answer. For some reason, that word was the best that Maura could manage. Something in Jane's eyes was beginning to frighten her. She was somehow looking at her differently. And while it wasn't a harsh look at all, it made Maura nervous. Her brain had a hard time recognizing those eyes as belonging to her best friend.

Jane smiled at her, "Great!"

"But I must get out of these clothes." The night before, Jane had loaned Maura an old BPD T-shirt and some basketball shorts to sleep in. The sight of Maura in Jane's clothes was quite simply one of the most striking images on earth.

Jane laughed. "Right. How about I pick you up at your house in an hour?"

"With what vehicle, exactly?" Maura grinned. Jane had left her car at the Dirty Robber the night before. "I drove you home last night, remember?"

"Oh yeah…"

"How about I pick _you_ up in an hour? We'll swing by the Robber after dinner so you can pick up your car."

…..

Jane spent the better part of that hour freaking out about what to wear. _Come on, Rizzoli. This is Maura. It doesn't matter…_ But this wasn't just dinner with Maura. This was a _date_ with Maura. This was completely different, and Jane had a feeling in the pit of her stomach, telling her it did matter. The detective finally settled on the little black dress her mother made her buy some time ago.

_Oh my God… Ma._

Jane had not yet thought about what her mother would say about her relationship, or potential relationship, with the blonde doctor. Angela Rizzoli loved Maura, of course, but would she approve of her daughter dating her? Something about it seemed almost incestuous. Maura had truly become a part of the Rizzoli family. And yet, Maura only became that way through Jane. It was as if Maura had joined the family under the guise of a girlfriend or spouse anyway. _Maybe Ma will be completely fine with it…_

And then Jane remembered her Catholic upbringing, her mother's strong faith. Homosexual relations were not a topic Jane could remember ever speaking with her mother about. She had no idea if it was something her mother considered sinful or not. Jane sighed loudly, knowing that there was a strong chance that her mother would feel the relationship was unnatural and wrong.

The brunette was broken out of her reverie by a soft knock. _Maura_.

As she twisted the knob, Jane took a deep breath, bracing herself for the woman on the other side of the door. She quickly scanned the doctor. Maura was breathtaking. She wore a form-fitting silver dress with beaded straps. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders in soft waves. Jane's eyes drifted to Maura's breasts, which were accentuated perfectly by the beads embroidered there. Finding her way back to the doctor's eyes, Jane found herself mesmerized by the hazel color. _Was there anything more beautiful in the world than Dr. Maura Isles_?

"Are you ready?"

Unable to form words just yet, Jane gave a quick nod as she stepped into the hallway and locked the door behind her. As they descended the stairwell of the apartment building, Maura's fingers wrapped into her own.

"You look gorgeous, too, Jane." Maura gave a slight wink. "You always do."

…..

Their dinner, their first date, as it were, went swimmingly. Jane had worried that she would feel uncomfortable. Putting a "date" context around an event such as this often caused a lot of stress. The pressure was on for Jane to be her most charming self, and to try to hide certain flaws of hers as best as she could. But this was Maura. And Maura already knew all of her shortcomings. Never before had Jane felt more relaxed on a "first date" in her life.

Jane was getting very comfortable with the entire situation, actually. It seemed, since day one, that Maura was fine with the changing circumstances of their friendship. But Jane, for whatever reason, was completely freaked out about it. Until this dinner. Suddenly everything just seemed okay. Her mind stopped racing and she was free to enjoy the company of her best friend without worrying about what may or may not happen later. It was like a hundred pound weight had been lifted off her chest and she felt like she could truly breathe again.

The two chatted and drank over fancy French cuisine at a restaurant of Maura's choosing. They laughed in a way they hadn't in weeks. It was the same as it always was, except now Jane felt the desire to touch Maura's exposed skin, to hold her hand across the table, and to kiss her at the end of the evening. In this moment, Jane realized that this could actually work. After all, who better to be in a relationship with than your best friend?

As they exited the restaurant, Jane pressed her palm firmly against the small of Maura's back, leading her out the doors and to the car. As Maura used her fob to unlock the doors, Jane skipped forward, opening the driver's door for her friend.

"Such a gentleman," Maura teased as she sat.

Jane ran around to the passenger door and took her seat in the vehicle, scoffing at Maura's comment, but unable to come up with any retort better than a childish "Am not!" which she stifled.

As they made their way to the Robber to retrieve Jane's car, a comfortable silence found its way between them. There was, of course, nothing wrong with it, but it set those wheels in Jane's brain turning again. She couldn't help herself. She just had to ask the question.

"Maur?"

"Hm?"

"Um. Can I ask, uh… Why haven't you been freaking out about this?"

The air shifted at the question and Jane almost immediately regretted having said it.

"Should I be?"

"Well… um, yeah! I am."

The doctor thought for a moment to ensure that she chose her words accurately. "I guess… well, because it isn't an issue for me. I mean, no, I've never been with a woman before, but it just doesn't matter."

Jane took a moment to let Maura's words sink in. She considered them briefly and swallowed hard. Maura pulled up next to Jane's car and put it in park.

"It… doesn't… matter?"

Maura watched as Jane's eyes almost quivered. She started to speak, reaching a hand out to Jane's knee.

"What, like this doesn't matter to you?" Jane's words came out hot, fierce. And with a click of the car door and a hard slam, she was gone. Maura rolled down the window as Jane got into her own car.

"No, Jane! _Jane_!"

The tires spun and the car peeled away. Maura leaned back into the leather seat, sighing loudly, before shifting the car into drive and heading home.


End file.
